


Soul Pony

by Burgie



Category: Star Stable Online
Genre: Gen, warning for depression and suicide mention
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-18
Updated: 2017-08-18
Packaged: 2018-12-16 22:35:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,061
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11838396
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Burgie/pseuds/Burgie
Summary: Justin meets his soul horse.





	Soul Pony

Justin really didn’t see how watching some wild horses run was going to cure his depression. Sure, they were nice to look at, but he felt like nothing could drag him out of this pit of self-loathing. Louisa should have just let him drown, or let the sharks eat him. That would have saved everyone a lot of trouble. He’d made his father worry, and his girlfriend had blamed herself for the whole thing, and Loretta had had a complete mental breakdown after a few years and had started being nice to everyone.

But now, here he was, on Goldmist’s rump while Louisa rode around South Hoof looking for the herd of wild ponies. Her purple hair whipped into his face, but Justin couldn’t find it in him to care. He deserved to be whipped. Punished for his foolish, selfish actions, not comforted. Louisa should have pushed him into the ocean, beaten the tar out of him, then he might have felt better. But instead, she’d hauled him up onto Goldmist and ridden up here.

“There they are,” said Louisa, the words reaching Justin through his haze of self-loathing. She stopped her horse, and Justin slid off the back of him and steadied himself with a hand on Goldmist’s flank. The stallion looked at him clamly, but Justin looked away from those big brown eyes. Introducing Goldmist to Louisa was perhaps the only good thing Justin had ever done.

To Justin’s surprise, the wild herd of ponies passed them without shying away, not trampling him or stopping to inspect the strange horse. They were probably used to Louisa and Goldmist. She’d probably done a lot of exploring while he’d been imprisoned, as she should. Why should she stop her life just to worry about him?

And then, tagging along at the back of the herd, a little palomino pony walked up to Justin and stopped in front of him.

“Huh?” said Justin. The pony swished his tail, looking at Justin with big brown eyes that seemed to have universes in them. Justin had once heard someone say that a horse’s eyes held universes, but he’d never seen that. Until now.

Justin reached a hand out, and the pony sniffed his palm and then butted his forehead against Justin’s open hand. Justin found himself grinning.

“Sorry, buddy, I don’t have any treats,” said Justin. The pony snorted, then started snuffling at his pockets as though to check and see if he was lying. The pony snorted again when he discovered that Justin was, indeed, telling the truth.

Justin stood there, petting the pony’s mane and neck, for a long time. He found words coming to his tongue, words that he’d never spoken to anyone for fear of worrying them. He told the pony how stupid he’d been to go to Dark Core. But also, how he’d felt for a while that he truly belonged there. How some of his grandfather’s points made sense, even without the aid of the secret herbs in the lasagne. How he still craved lasagne when he was feeling sad, and hoped for it to make the bad feelings go away. How he’d hoped for the sweet release of death many times. How the Generals, his own family, had turned on him in the end, flinging things through the bars of his cell and burning him with branding irons. How he’d contemplated using his own belt to end his life. And the pony listened, never interrupting him. Not even when Justin clutched the pony’s mane and sobbed into his neck.

“Sorry,” said Justin once the tears had passed. “I know you don’t care about my problems. How can you? You’re a horse, you don’t even understand me.” But even as he said that, Justin felt that the pony did understand him. Maybe he didn’t understand the words, but there was a feeling there. A kind of bond. Justin petted the pony’s neck, and then moved around to his side to try to mount him. He felt that the feeling would grow stronger if he did. But, when he got there, he saw the scabbed-over cuts on the pony’s sides and flanks.

“We’ve both been in the wars, huh, buddy?” said Justin, stroking the soft fur on the pony’s side. The pony looked back at him, nothing but trust in those big brown eyes.

“He got stuck in every thorn bush on South Hoof when I was helping out Spirit,” said Louisa. She’d maintained a polite distance while Justin had been venting to the pony, but now she sat on Goldmist closer to them.

“Then that’s something we have in common,” said Justin. “Getting into trouble. Maybe he was hoping to find something good there. Or maybe someone lied to him.”

“Maybe the best grass was under the brambles,” said Louisa. “But I freed him anyway. And he doesn’t let it get him down.”

“I’ve never felt like this with a horse before,” said Justin, his hand still on the pony’s side. “Is this how you feel with Goldmist?”

“Yeah,” said Louisa. “Like he understands me and only wants what’s best for me.” She petted Goldie’s neck, and her stallion nickered.

“Do you think the hermit would mind if I took this horse?” asked Justin.

“I don’t think he’d mind at all,” said Louisa. “But maybe wait a while. We have to go see the druids first.”

“Yeah, you’re right,” said Justin. “I’d love to ride this little guy up there, though.” He smiled, and the pony nickered and pressed against him.

“Well, he’ll still be here when you come back,” said Louisa. “I’ll ask the hermit to keep an eye on him.”

“Thanks,” said Justin, still smiling. “I’ll see you tomorrow, buddy. Or later, depending on how long this takes. But I will come back, I promise. I’m not going anywhere.”

“I’m sure your dad will be glad to hear that,” said Louisa. And Thomas was very glad to hear that, when Justin announced it. The hermit had a knowing twinkle in his eye as he agreed to keep an eye on the pony for Justin (at least he had the scratches as a distinguishing mark).

And, as Justin walked across the island later with his father, he waved to his pony in the distance and the pony turned and whinnied, rearing up as though to wave goodbye.


End file.
